Many women associate the emotion of fear with childbirth when, in fact, childbirth can be an empowering and even pleasurable experience. In the 15 years that I have supported women in birth, many of them have described their experience as not painful but ‘intense’ and some women have enjoyed immensely the experience of birth. 

We have a saying in birth:

"What helped make the baby is what will help the baby come out!"

I know some women aren’t always able to make their baby in a dimly lit, intimate and loving environment but it still came from a deep love between two people. And at times during a labour when the couple are really connected and lovingly working together, there is defiantly an incredible intimacy and sexuality in the room that makes me think, 'Hmmm maybe I should leave the room!'

What is happening at that time is together they are strongly connected and are creating huge amounts of oxytocin, the hormone of love which is what women need to create contractions. Oxytocin is the hormone you release when you have been out for dinner with close friends or family and you feel really happy and relaxed, it is also the hormone you release after sex when you are lying in bed and are feeling close, warm hearted, and totally in love with each other. This is what we want to bring to labour and birth – a strong love connection in an intimate environment where the birthing woman feels safe enough to relax, let go into her body and allow this release to occur.

 "I believe it’s every woman’s right to have a pleasurable birth. It all comes down to how you define it. I define my orgasmic birth as a heightened sensation – that moment of release and just feeling your baby slide from your body into your arms. I think that every birth has that orgasmic element." – Debra Pascali Bonaro from Orgasmic Birth

Virginia W. (Bath, England) writes in Orgasmic Birth: Your Guide to a Safe, Satisfying a Pleasurable Birth Experience:

“I never expected such a sensual experience—-although I read about births like this, I did not think myself ‘alternative’ enough to have one. I intellectualize things, and people told me my previous labour was probably so long and difficult because I over-thought it.

“But with this birth, the stronger the contractions, the more excited I felt. The orgasmic sensations during the second stage were completely unexpected and took me weeks to discuss with anyone. My husband was relieved when I told him—-he was shocked at how sensual the experience had been and was happy it had been so for me.

“Still, I edit out the orgasmic element when telling my story, as most people are not aware of it as a possibility and would think I was completely insane!”