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Is it OK If My Partner Isn't at the Birth?


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22/02/2018

Answered by Lael Stone, Childbirth Educator & About Birth Co-Founder

As much as this question may seem surprising to some, there are quite a few partners who don't want to be at the birth of their child. It is almost expected these days that a partner will be there, but for many people the idea of witnessing childbirth is overwhelming and confronting, and they don't feel like they will cope well. In some countries and cultures, birth is still considered womens work and it is seen as strange if a man is present at the birth of his child.

It can be an issue for the birthing woman if her partner is stressed and not coping as that can effect the atmosphere in the room as well as take the focus away from her needs. In situations were the partner doesn't feel like they will be able to cope or doesn't want to be there, a doula or an Independent midwife may be a good solution. A care provider who will stay for the duration of the birth, and who has formed a relationship with the mother, can be excellent support and comfort.

At the end of the day it is about what feels comfortable for the expectant couple. Get to know the available options and have an honest discussion around this topic early in the pregnancy. Even better, work it into a birthplan!




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